What a roller coaster time it has been since my last piece of writing , the aftermath of cycle 5 was something of a wake up call !? I was guilty of being rather cocky and thinking “ oh yes I’ve had three days of feeling ghastly and thank goodness Dr Raj advised me to stockpile the anti sick pills!!!”
I was choosing to ignore bleeding gums when I was brushing my teeth and a rather sore back molar, lots of mouthwash , I thought it would all settle down ? ! It was a better week not feeling so sick and towards the end of the week , wonderfully social , with Fred, Judes , Ants and Pip watching the first two days of the Aintree meeting with me ,such fabulous racing . The other highlight was the completion of the long course of the trial drug I had been on from the start of treatment in January.
Grand National day was glorious and the morning was spent watching / advising everyone practicing their dressage for Sunday’s competition , pulling manes cleaning tack . I still felt ok but my jaw was by now quite sore ? I had summoned Mummy back from Dorset to look after Pip as she had had a nasty tumble and I was very concerned about her , she arrived that evening and it proved to be fortuitous.
Having woken early on Sunday I knew immediately I had a temperature , I was going to ignore it and just take Paracetamol which I did do , but Olivia made me see sense and ring the oncology emergency number and reminded me of the dire warnings the Nick Jonas nurses had given me if I ever got a temperature . When I got through I was told to go immediately to A and E and they would arrange everything for my arrival. Poor Olivia was worried and not wanting to go to dressage , but as all was ready and it would be such a waste of entry fees , I insisted she went , so Mummy was summoned . My goodness if you have cancer you are looked after to a gold standard , we rocked up with me apologising for making a fuss as I didn’t feel that bad , just chilled and shivery . I was whisked straight into a private room as the wonderful nurse on the phone had prewarned A and E. Another perk of having cancer ,no queuing !! Within half an hour of arriving it was like a whirlwind , bloods taken , cannula inserted , all obs taken and hooked up to IV antibiotics . Oh and an earful for taking paracetamol , who knew !!??
Not to put to fine a point on it , until I was discharged a week later I had no idea I was very sick. The discharge notes I really shouldn’t have read as it scared me somewhat , mentioned Sepsis and kidney failure 🙈🤭 but it explained the five days of virtually continual Saline drips , IV antibiotics , blood transfusions and Filgrestin ( drug that boosts white cells and gives you backache so bad you think you have been run over by a bus ) I am now something of an expert on Haemoglobin , white cell levels , temperature , blood pressures . My sore jaw was a tooth abscess and eventually I was deemed strong enough to have it removed and drained , yuk ! Almost worse than anything so far and a face looking I as if I had been in a boxing ring 😲 it has caused my first descent into depression last week , a good talking to from Mummy and a mental kick up the derrière, has got me back on track .
There were lots of positives however and I’m totally in awe of the wonderful nurses in the two rooms within the wards I was in , not to mention the x ray and A and E departments , all staff were truly amazing , professional , cheery , kind , caring , I am running out of superlatives . The other big news is that Dr’s Raj and Roa have decided that it was such a scare and they don’t need another and the squatters appear to have fled due the chemo and trial drug, so no more Chemo 👏👍🍾must not count my chickens but hooray 6 weeks closer to the end .
The next step is meeting the surgeon and an op , what , to be decided ? To be done before the end of May .
It’s been difficult not to try to return to normality as my guilt levels have gone into overdrive , Olivia and Pippa have so much to do on the yard . I did try to help more on the yard , but the ongoing effects of chemo , mostly tiredness , fright and headaches were seeming to cause depression ( so self indulgent ) , have made me see sense and I’m back to being sensible , resting , helped of course by the glorious weather.
So onwards and upwards the end is creeping closer and I’m continuing to be blessed by wonderful , helpful friends and family.